5 Times Things Got Hawkward
by whumpqueen
Summary: ...and one time Clint got back at everybody. Clint has the worst luck and he keeps walking in on his teammates during "sexy times". Contains Stony, Thor/Jane, Bruce/Betty, Natasha/Unknown, a pairing you'll have to see to believe and a surprise pairing at the end for everyones favorite archer. Slash. Disclaimer: I do not own Avengers unfortunately. inspired by fanart i saw somewhere


Disclaimer- I do not own anything, sadly. If I did Coulson would be alive and Sheildhusbands would be a thing, like for real.

**1.**

Clint wandered through the halls of Avengers tower. Tony had invited all the Avengers to live there shortly after the Chitauri invasion and after several months, everyone was feeling at home.

Clint walked into the kitchen, hoping to find a quick snack before he returned to his nest in the vents above his room.

Just as he was reaching for a can of soda he heard someone crash into the room. He turned around to see Tony pressing someone against the wall and kissing the hungrily. Clint groaned and said, "Tony would it kill you to check if a room was empty before barging in while practically having sex? You could traumatize someone that way."

A muffled "Sorry Clint," came from the figure against the wall and Clint froze. If not for his training, his jaw would have hit the floor as he realized who the familiar voice belonged to.

"Steve! What the… you know what, I don't want to know. I'm going to leave before I'm well and thoroughly scarred for life." Clint left quickly mumbling under his breath about "stupid Tony" and "never see Captain America the same way again.

The two men in question stared after their teammate for a moment before Tony turned to Steve. "I wonder what's eating him." He asked before plunging in for another searing kiss.

**2.**

Clint walked into the living room and immediately threw a hand up in front of his eyes. "Holy crap Thor put a sock on the door knob or something. Oh, and hi Dr. Foster."

Thor looked up from his position on the couch where he was half dressed with an equally undressed Jane Foster. "What is the meaning of this sock that you speak of? Is it something which adds to this great pleasure?"

Clint peeked out through his fingers to see Jane blushing as she whispered in Thor's ear, probably explaining his comment before shyly saying "Hi Clint, sorry about this."

Thor's voice boomed out, "I am sorry friend Clinton, I did not know of this Midgardian custom. I do hope my ignorance has not caused you undue stress."

Clint waved his concern off and turned to leave, "I'm fine big guy, just next time, please keep it in the bedroom." He didn't wait for Thor's acknowledgement before hastily exiting the room.

**3.**

Clint was in the elevator going down to Bruce's lab. The last mission had not gone well for the archer and he wanted the doctor to tend to the laceration on his bicep.

The door dinged open and Clint stepped out into the large lab. "Hey Doc I need you to… you have got to be kidding me. Not you too Doc," Clint said, stopping when he came across Bruce and Betty on the small cot in Bruce's lab. Betty grabbed for the blanket and quickly brought it up, her face turning red with embarrassment.

Bruce blushed and Clint wanted nothing more than to turn and leave but he had to get his arm seen to and there was no way in hell he was going to S.H.E.I.L.D. medical.

Clint ran a hand through his hair and said, "Look just fix me up and I'm out of your hair" Bruce caught sight of Clint's arm and sighed before getting up and grabbing his supplies. Clint tried desperately to ignore the situation as Bruce silently stitched up his arm. He was overjoyed when Bruce finished and with a few mumbled apologies he got back in the elevator and silently cursed his rotten luck of walking in on his team members.

God he hoped he never walked in on Natasha.

**4.**

"If you don't leave now I will personally make sure you can never shoot that precious bow of yours again." A voice growled out from the bed.

Clint turned and left without a word. He had just wanted to let the person in the room know that Fury wanted every at the Hellicarrier for a mission brief.

He should have known better, with the way his month was going, than to walk into Tasha's room unannounced. He's just glad he didn't catch a glimpse of the other person with her. Anyone who slept with Natasha had to be scary good, or just plain scary.

**5.**

Clint walked into Fury's office holding his report only to turn around instantly shouting, "Oh my God, that's just wrong!"

Fury looked up at Hill, who was in his lap and both smiled when they heard Hawkeye's shout of, "That's what I get for actually doing a report on time!"

**+1.**

Everyone in the room was beyond angry, even Steve seemed to be barely holding himself back. Poor Bruce had to excuse himself to a quiet area to calm down. When he finally returned, everyone turned to Fury to demand an explanation.

"It's been seven months, and you didn't think to tell me the he was alive." Hawkeye asked his voice dangerously calm and even.

Fury looked down awkwardly, avoiding Clint's piercing gaze, which surprised everyone, except Natasha, more than the news that Agent Coulson was alive and had recovered nicely.

Tony turned to Steve and quietly asked, "Am I missing something here? Since when is Fury afraid of anyone, least of all Hawkeye?" Steve shushed him as they listened to the Director explain the situation.

"You needed the push at first and I did genuinely think he was dead. It wasn't until after you left that I found out medical had resuscitated him. He was in a coma for several months and they didn't know if he would wake up. I couldn't tell you he was alive only for him to die." Finally Fury made eye contact with Barton and said, "Don't be mad at him, it was my call to keep him from you after he woke up. I wanted him to finish healing. And he did make several escape attempts but I had Hill and Sitwell watching him so he never got far."

Clint's eyes darkened murderously and he ground out between clenched teeth, "I want to see him."

Fury nodded to Hill and she opened a door to reveal a haggard but very much alive, Phil Coulson. He quietly stepped into the room.

Before anyone could move Hawkeye punched Director Fury in the face and ran over to Phil, who he latched onto like an octopus.

Steve stepped forward to welcome the Agent back but Natasha stopped him saying, "Let him be with his husband for a minute." Steve looked at the obvious couple and nodded in understanding.

Tony, however didn't quite seem to get it. "Husband? Agent is married? To wh… oh." He stopped short as he saw Phil's hands grab the tear streaked marksman's face and kissed him desperately.

Without warning, Phil spun and pinned Clint to the nearest wall, one arm on the wall by Clint's head and the other carding through the younger man's hair.

Natasha smiled a slipped out silently, followed by Dr. Banner. Steve blushed profusely and was quickly ushered out by a grinning Tony. A confused but happy Thor was then herded out by Hill and Fury, who exchanged twin smirks before leaving the two men to grow reacquainted.

**A/N**- hope you liked it, I leave Natasha's partner as a mystery for you to fill with your imagination. And don't hate on Hill and Fury, I just needed them so Clint could freak out, or Tony and Steve, I just really wanted Clint to be like "wtf it's Steve!" . So yeah, #coulsonlives. That has to be like, honorary cannon by now.


End file.
